I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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