Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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