She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize