Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
