If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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