Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
