im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it hurts more in the daytime
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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