let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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