this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
