the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
