Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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