whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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