I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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