We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
