he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
