Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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