Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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