I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
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A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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