maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
