yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
