cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
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