They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
