when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
