Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize