My first STD was from a foam party
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
