I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
