she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
