But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize