So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
