They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
