I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
