I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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