: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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