do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
