You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
