At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
