There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
