This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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