butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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