im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
