I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize