Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
