it hurts more in the daytime
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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