the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
