Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
