don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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