very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize