What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
