We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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