margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I could fuck to npr.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
