Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize