I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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