uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
