I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
