If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
