don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
