Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
