They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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