Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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