Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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