It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
