I'm going to jail i love you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
