Don't make out with my wife yet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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