Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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